It’s late and I’m tired, yet here I am, posting. I’ve put it off tonight because I didn’t feel I really had much to say. Went to drum circle tonight but didn’t really dance, the energy was off and my knees are aching. Granted, the ache is better than the stabbing pain but still annoying. I did walk a bit around the property for a while, was nice out.
I’m having a mildly tough time with all of this. I’ve told people about the race, told them what I’m doing, gotten encouragement, etc. A part of me continually asks ‘Why?’ and that part has noisy days and quiet days. In the past, that voice has won out and I gave in. I want this time to be different, it will be different… I hope it’s different.
I’ve been in a funk lately, and I think I was hoping that this whole project would bring me out of that. Right now though, it mostly feels like it’s making it worse. I can hardly walk for more than a little while, let alone jog. I know I need to let my knees rest, sort themselves out, etc, but man that’s tough. Feels sort of like I’d be letting.. whoever down. I mean, what would I post? ‘Well, rested the knees again today, man I hope they’re better soon… later!’
It’s late, I should sleep.
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